You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
