WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
