So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
