woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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