wat bout pragnant strippers??
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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