At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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