They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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