My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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