he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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