your thong is hanging out like whoa
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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