playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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