And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
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DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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