benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
