Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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