It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
do herpes really smell.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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