when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
