i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Man, jail baloney is awful.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
