shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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