I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
