The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
