So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
