You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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