so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
