Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
