there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
