I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it was like eating out sand paper
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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