She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize