Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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