Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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