your thong is hanging out like whoa
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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