you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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