I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
