ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize