Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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