what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
