i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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