Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
