I heard we made out
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
