don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
