So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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