so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
