i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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