She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
