I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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