If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
