i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
