Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
