How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
