none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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