one might say we're banned from that church
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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