i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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