Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
