good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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