he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
