Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
