She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
