Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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