I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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