hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
