I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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