i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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