Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
