Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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