peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
