just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
